As you enter a new year of wedding planning, here are a few New Year’s Resolutions you should make to yourself.
Getting married in 2019? Congratulations! Walking down the aisle will make this year the best yet. But before you carry on with wedding planning, it’s important to make a few vows to yourself like you would any other year—but this time, for wedding planning. Check out our resolution recommendations below (with your partner) and above all else, just trust the process, try to relax and remember to eat.
1. I will not do anything before the guest list.
We know, it’s not always the easiest part of wedding planning, but you shouldn’t make any big decisions before you have your wedding guest list somewhat firmly in place. This should be one of the first things you do, because it’s the element that most of your event depends on. If you put a nonrefundable deposit down on a cozy, private room for 75 guests, but your in-laws’ additions bump it up to 200, you’ll have a sticky situation on your hands. Once everyone’s in agreement, then you can move forward. That said, one of the parts of your wedding you and your partner can plan immediately is what kind of atmosphere you’d like. Do you want an intimate, close-friends-and-family-only affair, or do you want to throw the event of the season for 300-plus people? Later, when you’re in the guest-list trenches, this bit of planning will help back up your gut instinct about whether to say yes (or no) to guest-list additions.
2. I will treat my wedding party the way I’d want to be treated.
You may not be in kindergarten anymore, but the golden rule is still the best rule. Inform the way you treat your bridesmaids by thinking about how you’d like to be treated—and it probably doesn’t involve showering them with loads of gifts. Take their preferences to heart and be sensitive to their schedules and budgets. If you have differences of opinion about something important to you, no need to get upset. Take a breather and explain your perspective—If they put themselves in your shoes too, they’ll come around.
3. I will remember that I’m getting married to my partner—not my centerpieces.
You should feel free to rethink, redo and revamp any element of your wedding that you want—with (realistically) enough time to spare. This doesn’t have to mean yet another huge investment or reneging on a bunch of contracts—you’ll be surprised how easy it is to make simple additions or subtractions and change your whole style. Already ordered those pastel bridesmaid dresses? Think about adding a bold sash or accessorizing with chandelier earrings to liven them up a bit. Unsure about the color scheme you chose? Pay an extra visit to your florist and work out changes to your bouquets and centerpieces—adding new blooms in all of your arrangements will introduce a new color throughout the room. Same thing if you’ve already ordered the linens—spice them up with bright table runners or overlays. If you decide you really can’t live with it, chances are you can go back on your first choice—just remember that it’ll likely cost you. A good rule of thumb is if you’ve already signed a contract or seen a proof, you’ll have to pay extra for any changes or additions you make. But if it’s still relatively early in your planning process, don’t be afraid to make the change.
4. I will not use social media as my personal wedding planning blog.
Planning your wedding is exciting! But your freshman year roommate probably doesn’t care that you finally booked a reception band. We’re not saying the everyday details aren’t interesting, but they might not be interesting to everyone. If you know some of your friends and family are definitely interested in your planning progress, you could create a blog for those who want to keep tabs on the ups and downs. It’s a much more streamlined and private forum for wedding-planning-only progress.
5. I will trust my vendors.
Before you start micromanaging every decision your wedding planner makes, remember one thing: You’re paying them for a reason. Consider their experience and expertise an opportunity for you to relax. They want you to love the result (after all, your recommendation hinges on it) so they’re going to strive to please. Think of it this way: Wouldn’t you rather help someone who trusts your abilities rather than second-guesses everything you do? There’s no harm in giving a good amount of direction at the outset, but asking for daily progress reports is too excessive.